Teen Titan Outtakes!
by chirp chirp
Summary: What could have possibly gone wrong in the filming of Teen Titans? That's what this is! CHAPTER 3 is up, and it be GO! Read at the risk of losing brain cells. Seriously.
1. Chapter 1: Lightspeed

Disclaimer: Come on, if I owned Teen Titans, would there really only be ONE episode for me to make these outtakes of Jinx and Kid Flash out of? COME ON!!!!! I do NOT own the Teen Titans, any characters, etc. I even do not own my own brain at times…

**BEFORE YOU READ! THESE OUTAKES ARE THE PRODUCTS OF A DISTURBED MIND! I ALSO GOT THE IDEA FROM _THE NARATOR'S_ WICKED AWESOME RUROUNI KENSHIN OUTAKES!! PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME!!!**

**WARNING: This also contains silliness, randomness, shamelessness, and complete and utter idiocy on the part of the author (also some Japanese anime references a lay-person might not understand). Once again, I beg of you to not try to attribute any rational thought to their reading.**

_**Outtakes (for Lightspeed):**_

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**Scene where Kid Flash is running away from Madame Rouge who is running after him stretching her arms out really long and he is just barely managing to dodge.**

_Lots of awesome action shots of Kid Flash running like hell as long snaky black arms chase him. But then, as he runs down the street, barely jumping clear of an arm, he trips and falls._

Kid Flash: What the hell was that?

Madame Rouge is on the ground laughing her head off which sounds really weird because of her thick accent.

For some random reason Jinx walks onto the set and whispers something to Kid Flash, giggling a bit, and gesticulating toward something on the road

Kid Flash: You have got to be kidding me, I tripped over a _**speed bump**?!_ What IDIOT stuck a _**speed bump** _in the set?!

Director: heh heh, oh… right, cut!

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**This outtake is an explanation of why Kid Flash _never_ said "_Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!"_**

**Scene where Jinx has just blasted Kid Flash across the museum, the rest of the HIVE 5 appears to fight Kid Flash, blah blah blah!**

_-Mammoth starts trying to punch KF, but the speedster dodges each blow-_

Kid Flash: Ha ha! Missed me! Missed me again! Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!

Mammoth: Okay.

Kid Flash: What the f#$&?!

_-Mammoth picks up KF and before he realized what was happening….-_

Mammoth: -smooch-

Kid Flash: -_brain freeze-_

Jinx: …?!

Rest of cast and crew: WHAT THE HELL?!

Kid Flash: -_Loud sound of shattering glass-_

WAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! –_runs away at super-speed crying-_

Mammoth: Wha?

Director: someone go find him please?

Jinx, Raven, Bee, and Starfire: We'll go find him.

See-more: I guess he really would feel like crying after that…

Gizmo: Even _I_ would cry if that happened to me.

Kyd Wykydd (or however the hell you spell it): ….

_-In the sound stage-_

Jinx: Wally you in there?

Kid Flash: yeah…

Starfire: Yes, do not worry about it the Kid Flash, it is not that bad…

Kid Flash: _-stares at her with an obvious "Cut the crap" look-_

Starfire: Or maybe it is that bad, but do not worry about it, friend.

Raven: Like Starfire said, don't worry about it. If it was a boy then really doesn't count.

Bee: Now if had been your _first kiss_, that would have been a _tragedy!_ But that's certainly not the case, is it Wally? Wally?

Kid Flash: …. –_sprints away as fast as he can-_

_-Inside an air vent in his dressing room-_

Kid Flash: -_blank stare-_

Jinx: There you are Wally! I've been looking for you everywhere. Can I sit next to you?

Kid Flash: _-blank stare-_

Jinx: I'll take that as a 'Yes'.

-_Sits down next to Kid Flash in the air vent._-

Kid Flash: You can start laughing any time now.

Jinx: AHA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Kid Flash: You can stop laughing any time now.

Jinx: Was that really your first kiss?

Kid Flash: -_turns so that his back is facing her-_ Does it really matter?

Jinx: Of course it doesn't. But honestly, you haven't been training hard enough if he could kiss you that easily. Plus, how could you not notice Mammoth was gay?

Kid Flash: …

Jinx: Did you not notice his friggin' outfit? Or that he taped a gay flag to the door of his dressing room? Or how when we were in the museum he stole _clothes?_

Kid Flash: Fine, I admit it, I was stupid for not noticing that Mammoth was gay, but give me a break! I've been to busy trying to avoid Aqualad. He's become, like, this weird gay stalker or something, and then I'm almost sure Speedy's bi…

Jinx: Aqualad's been stalking you?

Kid Flash: Yes! I can't freaking go anywhere near large bodies of water, it sucks!

Jinx: Are you gay?

Kid Flash: I'm not gay!

Jinx: Sorry, but the spandex really was beginning to make me wonder…

Kid Flash: Hey! Leave the spandex out of this!

Jinx: You know, I think it's about time you realized we're alone and no one could possibly find us.

Kid Flash: -_Getting what she's saying-_ Uh huh

Jinx: One second first –_blasts out the cameras that had been the eyes of all the Titans/ Director/ Other crew members/ villains_

All the Titans/ Director/ other crew members/ villains: Shit! She noticed!

Jinx: Now, where were we?

Kid Flash: -_happy/ hentai smile-_

A/N: Yes, I rather shamelessly borrowed most of the story from Volume 2 of Ranma1/2 which I own…but don't own at the same time, get it? Never mind, that made no sense.

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**Random thing that really isn't an outtake but amuses me.**

_-The cast is prepping for the another scene-_

Director: Kid Flash! Hey! KID FLASH!! Has any one seen Kid Flash? We need to start.

Jinx: Director, let me try. OI Wally! The shoot's about to start!

-no response-

Jinx: Here- Wally, Wally, Wally…. Here boy… -whistles-

-twitch-

Jinx: -now really annoyed- KID FLASH GET YOUR ARSE OUT HERE NOW IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

-silence-

Voice from off camera: YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Cast and Crew: What the?

-All of a sudden a red and yellow blur comes flying onto the set and starts bouncing between the ceiling and floor but is still moving too fast so the shape is still indistinguishable-

Kid Flash: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Cast and crew watch in astonishment for a few seconds. Then Mother Mae-Eye walks onto the set-

Mother Mae-Eye: Oh my… all I did was give him a jumbo pixie stick…

Jinx: -deadly quiet- You did what?

Mother Mae-Eye: -gulp- I gave him a jumbo pixie stick…

Kid Flash: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jinx: You mean you put Kid Flash on a sugar high? _Kid Flash_?! The most hyper super-hero of all time?! You gave him SUGAR?!

Mother Mae-Eye: Umm…. I didn't think of that….

Kid Flash: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jinx: SHUT UP YOU IDIOTIC HYPER-ACTIVE SPEEDSTER!! _–several windows break- _

Kid Flash: _-now hanging from a stage light a loonngggg way up from the ground-_ hee hee, ha ha, ho ho,… MAKE ME!!!!!

Jinx: Wallace Rudolf West, come here now!!

Kid Flash: I don't wanna! Hee hee hee!

Jinx: I said **_come down_**!! _–her eyes glow and the stage light breaks and it and Kid Flash start plummeting to the ground-_

Kid Flash: hee hee hee hee hee –_starts running in mid air, causing enough of a blast of air with his legs to shoot himself upward onto the support beams-_

Jinx: You supercilious stupid speedster! (A/N: Try saying that when you're drunk.)

Kid Flash: Hahahasfaiwureuuhdczxmndadhajlsdjfhfuriehuiyeuirtyuieuiyiidaalasdkjfsakdsietuiwutiouioureirekwajkldsjfklajskdfjajheiwwuewiruhnernasnmbwenrttbmwbqwetqwer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jinx: What the hell is he saying?

Cyborg: Who knows? I can't slow his speech down enough to translate.

Raven: Shall I try dragging him back down to the ground?

Kid Flash: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jinx: No, in his current state, he is much to fast for us. We will have to be more…subtle… heh heh heh….-_evil grin-_

Everybody: sweatdrop

Jinx: Now where did I put the sedatives…?

Director: I think I'm going to go commit suicide now…

Jinx: Beast Boy, go to the break-room fridge and get a diet Coke, no caffeine or sugar.

Beast Boy: Yes Ma'am -_runs off-_

Jinx: Speedy, think you could shoot a tranquilizer dart at the idiot speedster as soon as he starts to slow down?

Speedy: Wha?

Jinx: Either he'll hurt himself like this, or he'll do something he'll really regret. We need to calm him down now.

Speedy: -hangs head- Yeah, I could get him….

Jinx: Thanks, now I need someone else to go to my room, look under the bed, find the big stainless steel suitcase, and bring it here. Make sure it's the right one! It should have several vials of opaque liquid in it and darts. Also check to see if it has an orange bottle containing some pills, that should be the sedatives, and there should be something resembling a very big black gun…

Random crew member: Alrighty!

Jinx: -_eyes flick back to Kid Flash who is spinning around and around and around on the support beams- _I will get you down, if it's the last thing I do.

Kid Flash: la la la la la (hee hee) la la

-Sometime later-

Jinx: Oh Kid Flash I have some regular Coca Cola for youFull of sugar and caffeine

Kid Flash: Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_-runs down at superspeed, grabs the cup out of her hands and drinks it with one gulp (which has an odd tang to it), then feels a slight pain, like a mosquito bite. Looks dazedly around to find that there is a dart sticking out of his neck-_

Kid Flash: Oh my….-_keels over_-

Jinx: The combination of a tranquilizer and sedatives worked well.

Raven: Not bad t'all….

Speedy: Uh, is he dead? –_Nudges unconscious speedster with his foot-_

Jinx: Nah, he'll just be asleep for a while. Let him rest, when he remembers what happened he'll either think it was all a dream or he'll be on bended knee apologizing profusely. Poor guy….

Kid Flash: -snore-

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**Scene where the H.I.V.E. 5 is exiting the museum**.**(Very beginning of show, sorry I'm doing this out of order, I know…weep)**

H.I.V.E. 5 walk out of the museum doors.

LOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG WAIT

Director: Cut! Um… has anybody seen Kid Flash?

-_Snore-_

Gizmo: That crud-bucket!

See-More: Oh no!

Mammoth: He can't be!

Kyd Wyykyd: …!

Jinx: My God! He is!

Everyone turns to see Kid Flash on the other side of the set sleeping like a baby, quietly snoring.

Director: Somebody wake him up. Kid Flash this is coming out of your pay check.

Jinx: I didn't slip _that_ many sedatives in the Coke, and the tranquilizer shouldn't have lasted this long… that leaves me left with only one option.

-Everyone now stares at the rather intense and scowling Jinx-

Jinx: I'm going to doodle on him! –takes out sharpie-

Everybody Awake and Present: sweatdrop

Director: Jinx, this isn't Ranma ½

Jinx: So?

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**Scene where the H.I.V.E. 5 is exiting the museum, take 2!**

H.I.V.E. 5 walk out of the museum doors.

A sudden gust of wind flies past. But instead of the just the artifacts disappearing, Kid Flash is standing there, in all his spandex clad glory holding Jinx comfortably in his arms bridal-style.

Kid Flash: Hiya gorgeous!

Rest of H.I.V.E. 5: …..

Jinx: You idiot! That's not in the scrip-

Kid Flash cuts her off by snogging her

Director: Cut!

_A/N: Damn, that made me sound like a Brit! Awesome!_

**Scene where Kid Flash is supposed to run off to Paris for a few seconds to pick up the red toupe and croissant**

Kid Flash: When you're as fast as me, you have plenty of time.

_He zips off but half way across the museum his feet stop moving and he and the carpet he's on skids the rest of the length of the building and crashes into the wall_

Director: CUT!

Jinx: -trying desperately to contain laughter as she hops down to where Kid Flash is stuck on his rear swearing the ears off everyone present- You okay, Kid?

Kid Flash: I told you not to call me that! –tries to get up-. HEY! This is FLY PAPER!

_Off camera shot of Mme. Rouge laughing her head off_

Kid Flash: MADAME ROUGE I AM SOOOOO GONNA KILL YOU!

Jinx: Uh, Kid Flash….

Kid Flash: What?

Jinx: I'm, uh…stuck too…

Kid Flash: -evil grin- Oh really….

Jinx: Kid Flash stop looking at me like that…seriously, you're beginning to scare me…

Kid Flash: heh heh heh heh….

_-I leave what happens next up to your own vivid imaginations-_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

**Scene where Kid Flash finds his way to Jinx's room**

See-More: He's heading down to section 4

Jinx: But that's my room!

_-she takes off running-_

_She bursts into her room only to see Kid Flash swirly eyed on the floor with blood pouring out of his nose. The rest of the H.I.V.E. 5 appears behind her to see what happened to Kid Flash. She reaches down to where her sketch book should have been only to find:_

Jinx: A **comic book**? What the hell? –Opens it-

_After just one look the rest of the H.I.V.E. 5 also faints from sudden nose-bleeds. _

See-more (curled in a ball on the floor): _hentai hentai hentai hentai hentai…_

Jinx: Ugh, Alright, WHO DREW THIS! LIKE I WOULD _EVER_ DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS WITH KID FLASH!! _GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Kid Flash (still on the floor with blood gushing out of his nose): Jinx, I'm hurt…

Jinx (who has turned a most interesting shade of red): SHUT UP!!

-Jinx checks author's name on the cover of the book-

_Maria Jeanne Rouge_

Jinx: MADAME ROUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Director (with two pieces of bloody tissue stuffed up his nose ):"Cud! And Madum Rouge! No bore bessing wid de props!!"

Madame Rouge –somewhere no one can see her-: foo

Jinx pulls out a machine gun and starts humming a hunting song

_A/N: Madame Rouge, I believe I am starting to see the beginning of a running gag._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

**Scene where the H.I.V.E. 5 is trying to decide the fate of the illustrious Kid Flash**

Seemore: I say we brain wash him and make him steal stuff for us!

Mammoth: Let's sell him! He's got to be worth something.

Gizmo: I think we should take him apart and see what makes him tick!

-_Kid Flash looks really bored, so he runs and gets a sandwich and takes a huge bite. Unfortunately, he took to large a bite and begans to choke, but nobody notices-_

Kid Flash: ... -_gagging noise_- …. !!!!!!

Jinx: I told you! We should call…

Billy Numerous 1: Nah! Don't let them spoil are fun!

Billy Numerous 2: Yeah! Let's hang him on the wall like a big mouth bass!

Jinx: …Kid Flash! You're line! You missed your li-…. Why is your face blue?

Kid Flash: …. –_more gagging noises- _….!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jinx: Oh, is that it? Okay, guys, KF is choking to death. MEDIC PATTERN ALPHA!!!

Cast and crew minus the HIVE 5 (and KF b/c he's busy dieing): What the hell?!

_Gizmo leaps forward with weird thingymabob that blasts the cage away from around Kid Flash; then Mammoth leaps forward, grabs Wally and does the Heimlich. Kid Flash coughs up and spits out a pickle (then promptly sinks to the floor gasping for air. _

Mme Rouge: Thus de moral of de story iz nevor bite ov more dan you can chew, and pickles are **EVIL!!!!!!!**

Kid Flash: … _–continues to pant while glaring crossly at Madame Rouge-_

_A/N: Yup, running gag._

_ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

**Scene where Kid Flash is telling Jinx she's to good to be a villain, and his sandwich needs mustard. **

Kid Flash: I work alone these days. You've got a nice place. Very… secret lair.

Jinx: Quit changing the subject!

Kid Flash: Doesn't it bother you that all those guys never listen to you?

Jinx: Why are you so interested in me?

Kid Flash: There's something about you that's different; I think you can do better.

Jinx: ….

Kid Flash: …Can I get some mustard? This looks a little dry.

_-Jinx blasts the sandwich into a million pieces, another tiny pickle finding its way down the wrong tube of Kid Flash's throat- _

Jinx: Have your fun; in a minute you'll wish you were never born… oh…. Are choking _again_? Jeez, you are so stupid.

Kid Flash: ….-_gagging noises-_... !!!!!!!

Director: _Sigh_, cut!

Jinx: Fine, fine, I'll help.

-_Jinx melts away the bars of the care in front of KF, walks into cage and performs Heimlich. Yet another piece of that god damn pickle flies from his lips. He then goes completely limp-_

Jinx: Oy, you still alive?

Kid Flash: Yep, just wishing I was never born.

Jinx: Oh shut up, will you? Or do you want me to give you another pickle?

Mme. Rouge: I tink dis proves I vas right about de **EVIL**-ness of de pickles, correct?

Jinx: …_ugh…_Kid Flash, hand me the damn pickle right now so I can shove it up her $#&…!

Kid Flash: _(wheeze, wheeze) _Glad to be of service…_(wheeze, hack, cough, wheeze)_…Here you go!

Jinx: _heh heh heh heh…_

Mme. Rouge: Oh shit!

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**Scene where HIVE 5 have been chasing KF all over the Museum but he has kicked all their ass (minus Jinx) but (to his chagrin) slips on a puddle and goes flying.**

See-More: Mammoth, now!!

-_Mammoth breaks through wall behind Kid Flash and pulls him into the squeezing Hug of Death-_

Kid Flash: …I didn't… know ya cared…!

–_KF starts vibrating, friction heat makes Mammoth let go, blah blah blah, Kid Flash runs forward slips on a well placed puddle, and falls dramatically, except he falls a little too far forward, and dramatically crashes into Jinx and they both hit the ground (KF on top of Jinx)-_

Director: CUT!! Damn, if this was real all of these folks would have been fired for the number of mistakes in this ONE episode! Grrr….

Jinx: -_looking up at Kid Flash who's face is bright red-_ You really no how to sweep a girl off her feet.

Kid Flash: I'M SO SORRY!! –_starts to get up but Jinx drags him back down-_

Jinx: I rather like this position, don't you?

Kid Flash: yeah…(_hentai grin)_

Gizmo: Ugh…hormonal idiots! That's it. I'll never grow up!

Everybody: …

End Notes of Impending DOOM: Did you like my outtakes? As director-san said, none of these guys would keep their jobs if they messed up this often. However, **IF CARTOON NETWORK HAD AIRED MORE EPISODES STARRING JINX AND KID FLASH, I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO PICK ON THIS EPISODE SO MUCH, NOW WOULD I?!!!!!! GRRRR!!!!!!!!!**

Anyway, if anyone has a favorite episode they would like me to do next, then I'll check it out and see what I can do. I will have a bit of trouble though cause' I'm not really a fan of any other matches within the Titans. I guess I like the Cy/Bee pairing a little, but to be honest I don't give a damn. Star/Rob, Rae/Rob, Terra/BB, or BB/Rae, Don't care. Although I guess I could have fun messing with the characters, I think I'll refuse to make any blatant supports of any other pairings. However, I generally support the decisions of the original comics people, and Nightwing (Robin) and Starfire do have a kid in the original comics, so I guess I'll stick with that pairing there. (But I refuse to do Cy/ Jinx! Grrrrr! If only I could get my hands on the complete MORON who came up with that! Hmmm, but having KF constantly breaking into that episode and fighting w/ Cy over Jinx, that could be fun..._-really demonic smile- _...heh heh...) But yeah, I might expand, but only if a good episode comes up. Please review! (And don't trash this to badly, it's just me being stupid, really! I blame it all on Chirp I !! _–if you don't get it, read my profile-_) **REVIEW!!!!! PRETTY PLEASE!!!!!!!**

PS: _hentai_ is Japanese for 'pervert' or 'perverted', just so ya know! Sorry if that confused you!


	2. Chapter 2: Nevermore

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any of the random things I may make references to in this fic. –sniffle-

Chirp Chirp: **WARNING! **Same as last time, the fic contains inappropriate language, inappropriate situations, not so humorous humor, utter stupidity on the part of the author, etc. Hell, if ya made it through the first chapter, you can survive this one! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Have fun, beware, and **_REVIEW!!!!_**

**_Chapter 2: Nevermore_**

****

* * *

****

**Teaser with Doctor Light:**

_Raven is just blasted back for the second time_

Raven: -_gravelly whisper-_ Don't come any closer…

Doctor Light: What's the matter, afraid of the light ?

Raven: -_turns around, but instead of going demon, she's reverted to chibi Raven, with really kawaii puppy dog eyes that are starting to water- _eh?

Cast and Crew: AWWWWW!!!! SOOOO _CUTE_!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chibi Raven: -_looking oh so pitiful still with big teary eyes-_ Mr. Docter Light, why did you have to hit me so hard? It hurt so much…. _–a few tears slide down her cheeks-_

Cast and Crew: -_All turn on Doctor Light with murderous intent with an ominous aura surrounding them-_

Doctor Light: OH SHIT! –_takes off running-_

Cast and crew: GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!! –_take off running after him, quite ready to hang him from a street lamp-_

Chibi Raven: -_turns to the camera holding up her hand in a victory sign with a huge (but slightly creepy) smile-_

* * *

**Scene where Raven bows up the tofu eggs:**

Beast Boy: Wakey wakey tofu eggs and bacc-ey! Come on, you could use some food after the way you cooked Dr. Light…

Raven: -_red eyes glowing and large canines bared_- **ISAID_ NO!!_**

-_food explodes-_

Beast Boy: Jeez, what's her problem?

Raven: -_turns around with red eyes and bared teeth-_ I'm really a vampire.

Beast Boy: WAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Raven: -_facing off set_- Cough it up Terra!

Beast Boy: Eh?

-_Terra walks onto set and hands Raven a five dollar bill_-

Terra: Sorry BB, I bet Raven five bucks that you weren't stupid enough to fall for that…

Raven: Terra, never bet on Beast Boy's intelligence. It's much more profitable to bet against it.

Terra: I've learned my lesson well, sensei.

Beast Boy: Hey, stop making fun of me!

Director: Should I even bother to say 'cut' at this point?

Robin: He doesn't even bother to deny it…

Cyborg: He accepts it…

Starfire: How could he not? Remember that idiotic mask he had when we first met him?

Jinx: -_stares intently at Kid Flash-_

Kid Flash: What?

Jinx: -_continues to stare pointedly at him_

Kid Flash: Seriously, what?

Jinx: -_sigh-_

Kid Flash: Hey! Don't ever compare **me** to Beast Boy!

Jinx: I didn't say anything

Kid Flash: You were giving me '_that' _stare…

Jinx: -_smile-_ You're not as dumb as you look!

Kid Flash: Thank you- HEY! I do not look DUMB!

Jinx: Whatever you say…_Spandex-boy…_

Kid Flash: grrrrrr (_I can't come up with a good comeback to that because I know she's right…drat..._)

* * *

**Scene where Beastboy and Cyborg just went into Raven's room and BB finds the mirror: **

Cyborg: We are in Raven's room! We should not be in Raven's room! She doesn't let anybody in here, EVER!!!

Beast Boy: So this is our big chance to find out more about her! For instance, heh heh, check out this beauty mirror!

-_tries to pick the mirror up, but it doesn't budge from the counter top-_

Beast Boy: Ugh, I can't pick it up, grrr!!!

Cyborg: Lemme try! –_tries to pic up mirror but instead of lifting the mirror off the chest of drawers, he picks up the whole thing- _Oops! –_sets it down-_

Beast Boy: _-looks at it carefully_- HEY! THIS IS GLUE!

-_off camera shot of Mme. Rouge holding a bottle of glue and laughing-_

Beast Boy: MADAME ROUGE!

Director: CUT! Madame Rouge, you aren't even in this episode! And no more glue!

Madame Rouge: fooey…

Jinx: Is she going to pop up in all the outtakes like this?

Kid Flash: Probably, the authoress likes her running gag.

Jinx: -_sigh-_ Well, at least we only got two episodes together so she can't pick on us too much.

chirp chirp: Wanna bet?

Kid Flash: You're just gonna mess with us in your other, fics aren't you?

chirp chirp: Yep!

Kid Flash and Jinx: -_forlorn sigh-_

* * *

**Scene where Beast boy and Cyborg just went into Raven's room and BB finds the mirror, Take 2: **

Cyborg: We are in Raven's room! We should not be in Raven's room! She doesn't let anybody in here, EVER!!!

Beast Boy: So this is our big chance to find out more about her! For instance, heh heh, check out this beauty mirror! –_pics up mirror-_ Who knew Raven spent time sprucing?

Ah! Is that a zit?

-_pokes zit, but it explodes, spraying nasty, icky puss all over the mirror-_

Beast Boy: Yuck!

Director: Cut! Clean-up crew!

-_Suddenly all feel presence of an immense dark aura at the door into Raven's room, all turn around to see-_

Raven: -_angry vein pulsing in her temple and evil aura surrounding her-_ Beast boy, I have some questions for you…

Beast Boy: Eh heh heh (_oh crap I am so dead_) What is it?

Raven: -_pleasant smile- _What exactly are you doing in my room?

Beast Boy: -_gulp- …_Um, …er…well…

Raven: -_still smiling pleasantly- _And what exactly happened to my door?

Beast Boy: -_sweating profusely-_ ah,…well…actually…Cyborg…um…

Raven: -_Eyes finally narrow into a look that would easily kill and vein begins pulsing afresh on her temple_- And Beast Boy, **_WHAT THE HELL IS THAT STUFF ON MY MIRROR?! _**

Beast Boy: EEP!!

Raven: **_THAT IS A PORTAL INTO MY MIND!! NOW I HAVE YOUR ZIT SHIT IN MY BRAIN!! I AM GOING TO RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND BY THE TIME I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU'LL PRAY THAT YOU WERE NEVER BORN!!!!!!!!_**

_Due to the gruesomeness of this scene, I will refrain from relating it._

* * *

**When BB and Cyborg exit 'happy land' and walk into the labyrinth:**

-_Beast Boy and Cyborg walk up to the place where they normally meet Timid, only _

_to see a purple cloaked Raven come up instead-_

Beast Boy: Dude! Where have you been?! SHOPPING FOR CLOAKS?!

Purple Raven: -_chuckles a little, with a small, seductive smile on her face-_

I'll show you two...-_the maze pops up_- C'mon...I know the way...

(ABOUT HALF AN HOUR LATER...)

Cyborg: Yo, girl, does this maze ever end?! The show isn't long enough for this!...uh, Raven? _-he turns around, and no one is there-_ Beast Boy?

-_The real Raven comes into the maze_- Where have you two been?! We've been waiting

for you to get to the two-face statue.

Cyborg: I don't know, blame Timid!

Raven: Timid?

Cyborg: Yeah, the one guiding us through the maze...or at least, she used to be.

Raven: But Timid is with me, at the end of the maze. When you two never showed

up for your scene, she got scared.

Cyborg: Then...who was the purple cloaked you?

Raven: Affection, why?

Cyborg: Affec- -_look of realization comes across his face_- Aw man, we're gonna

need a crowbar...-_rushes off toward the other end of the maze-_

(a/n: Provided by 'A Mere Servant of God)

* * *

**Scene where Bravery chops the statue in half:**

Bravery: HI-

-**_CRACK_**-

Beast Boy and Cybrog: O...

Bravery with a bent hand: YEOW! I BROKE MY (censored) HAND!

(a/n: Also provided by 'A Mere Servant of God)

* * *

**Scene where Raven (blue cloak) is talking to Cyborg and Beast Boy: **

Raven: "Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary over many a volume of forgotten lore; While I nodded nearly napping suddenly there came a tapping,"

Beast Boy: Raven, did you forget your lines?

Raven: "Ah distinctly I remember it was the bleak December as each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor…"

Cyborg: You forgot your lines, admit it.

Director: Raven, you can rehearse for English class later. Right now, you must recite the lines that you are being **_PAID_** to recite, ne?

Raven: Awww….

(A/N: Last year I recited the Raven (and did a big report on it) for my English class, so I would start reciting at random moments to practice, but people started to stare at me strangely, I don't know why…)

* * *

**Scene where Raven (blue cloak) is talking to Cyborg and Beast Boy before 'Daddy' shows up:**

Raven: You have to leave, now.

BB: Before that, I've wanted to ask if I could take you out to dinner some time.

Raven: Oh great, now you've done it...

-_Trigon suddenly pops out of nowhere-_

Trigon- **_Insolent mortal! HOW DARE YOU APPROACH MY DAUGHTER!!_**

BB: -_really small voice_- What is that?

Raven: -_Slowly backing away_- Let's just say I have an over-protective father...

Trigon**_: RAWR!!!!_**

Director: CUT!! –_aside to stagehand- Go ask Jinx if we can borrow the tranquilizer gun again…_

Trigon: -_dark aura_ _and glowing eyes_- I can hear you, Director.

Director: eep!

* * *

**Scene where 'Daddy' shows up:**

-_Hatred as Tirgon picks up Raven, and starts shouting at her-_

Tirgon: -_obscenely high voice_- Rage shall consume you! Damn, can someone pass me some more helium?

Raven:...um...

Director: Cut! No more balloons! –_looks back up at Trigon- _And no more _Hindenburg's _ either!!

(a/n: Original idea provided by 'A Mere Servant of God', but Director-san's comments are mine! )

* * *

**Scene where Raven goes off to summon her other selves:**

Raven: (_Long string of incantations)_

_-other Ravens appear- _

Raven: -_looks around- _Oooo, PRETTY COLORS!!

Cast and Crew: …. O.o

Director: Cut! ADHD, what the hell are you doing in the blue cloak?

ADHD Raven: _-big innocent smile_-

(I have ADD so I can make fun of it! Seriously, I have to take medication, it's not just a figure of speech!)

* * *

**Scene where white cloaked Raven kicks Hate/Trigon's ass:**

Raven: -_pushing forward with magic-_ **_HAAAAAHHHH!_**

Trigon: _-getting pushed back- **RAWWWWRRR!**_

_-Raven blasts him fully, and he explodes in a big flash of light into-_

Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg: **A _BUNNY?!_**

Cast and Crew: _-sweatdrop_-

Director: right… a bunny…cut….

Bunny: …

-_Beast Boy starts to walk over, but Cyborg stops him-_

Cyborg: Careful, it might be dangerous!

Beast Boy: Na, it just a little bunny rabbit! –_scoops up bunny-_ Hello, there little guy!

_-Bunny's beady little eyes start glowing red-_

_**-CHOMP-**_

Beast Boy: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF! –_starts to shake his arm wildly in the hope of detaching the bunny that has its jaws firmly locked onto his poor limb-_

Raven: -_grabs bunny away from Beast Boy-_ STOP SCAREING THE POOR THING!!

Beast Boy: -_looks down at the blood gushing out of his arm_- …ummm….

Raven: -_cuddling demonic bunny- _There, there, BunBun-chan. Your safe now; that inane, green idiot won't bother you anymore.

Beast Boy: You've _NAMED_ that murderous thing?! You can't keep it as a pet! No way would Robin allo- …um Raven?

Raven: -_both she and BunBun-chan glare daggers at him- _Well you and Starfire take care of that **_slug_**! I should be aloud to take care of a **_normal_** pet like a BUNNY! And if you _dare_ hurt him in anyway….-_eyes start glowing red as a dark aura wells up around her-_

Beast Boy: EEP!

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Hope you enjoyed it! Next I'm planning on taking on 'Go!', and after that probably 'Betrayal'. I'm not going to do anything in any particular order, so go ahead and recommend an episode! Also, try to give me some ideas too. My outtakes for Lightspeed was the product of a two months of me just fiddling around with ideas, these I'm trying to make up fairly quickly. Also, the _LAST_ episode I'll do is Titans Together, mainly because I wanna end **_BIG_**! So, if you have any ideas for anything good on any of the episodes I just listed, please feel free to tell me! I WANT IDEAS!

(And sorry, but I don't want to do the ones with Mad Mod, they're funny enough by themselves, they don't need me.)

Many thanks to the **WONDERFUL, AMAZING, AND MAGNIFICENT **people who gave me ideas on this including:

-A Mere Servant of God

-ahility

And also thanks to the people who encouraged me through hell and high water:

-SithKnight-Galen

-Ravenfan107

-CSFlinxStalker

And many others! Thanks to you all!

I also would like to apologize for any serious spelling or grammar errors you may find. I don't have a beta-reader so that makes it a little tough to weed out everything.

_**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

(PS: Translation Key

_Anou (or ano)- um_

_kawaii_- cute, adorable, etc.

_chibi-_ midget, little; usually used in anime to describe a character roughly four heads high with insanely big eyes, and the head is also very large. They are always sooo cute!

Chibi Raven is Raven when she was a little kid like in 'The End')


	3. Chapter 3: Go

Disclaimer: Normally, I know I would desperately try to claim that I own Teen Titans…. But today I'm too lazy. **I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS!! …. **–_sigh_- I curse those annoying lawyers to forever choke on pickles! Mwahahaha!!!

PS: However, Raven's demonic bunny is mine. All hail BunBun-chan!!!

---------------------------------------

**I **_**AM SOOOO SORRY! IT HAS TAKEN FOREVER FOR ME TO UPDATE, SO I BEG ON BENDED KNEE FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS!!!!!**_

**Anyway, the usual blah:** these outtakes contain shamelessness, utter stupidity, slightly adult –_cough cough_- situations, et cetera. You have been warned (sort of), so… _**ON WITH THE OUTAKES!!!!!!**_

_**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! READ AND REVIEW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

--------------------------------------

_**Outtakes (for 'Go!'):**_

**Scene where seriously pissed off Starfire blasts her way out of the Gordanian ship.**

Starfire: _**HHHHYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! **__–hits random Gordanian really hard with hand cuffs- _

Gordanian that just got hit: -_grunt of pain-_

Starfire: Think thou rue makka! **Tink bou shay sow mer!! **

–_hits more Gordanians, but one Gordanian hits some control panel and alarms go off- _

Starfire: -_dark and deadly sounding-_ **Escargot!! **

Gordanian: …Sorry to interrupt, but why are you speaking French instead of Tameranian?

Starfire: -_pulls out a pile of papers-_ Well, it was in the script. I can tell you, what they have me saying is not Tameranian to begin with. Mr. Director, may I speak with the script writer? All he put down was random jibberish. No one in their right minds would ever think that this nonsense is Tameranian.

Director: I give up! Do what you want!

_A/N: I swear, if you watch Go! at the beginning, it does seriously sound like Starfire says 'Escargot' right before she smashes her way out of the spaceship. _

**Scene where Raven makes her big entrance:**

Cyborg: Girl's gonna wreck the whole city!!

Robin: I won't let her! I WON'T LOOSE THIS FIGHT!

-_they all start running for Starfire when giant black-matter bird appears out of nowhere, and Raven steps out of the gloom-_

Cast: _**O MY GOD! IT'S PHOENIX FROM X-MEN!!**_

Raven: Maybe fighting's not… **oh hell!! Die you fiends!! **

-_blasts everyone who called her 'Phoenix'_

Director: …right. Why did I agree to this job?

(A/N: general idea from ahility. Arigato!)

**Okay, time for everybody's favorite, the Kiss Scene!!**

Robin: See? Now maybe we could be fr…

Starfire: _-smooch-_

-_However, in the middle of the smooching scene; suddenly, our favorite speedster appears on set-_

Kid Flash: Okay, this is so unfair!! How come those to get to make out on camera but you yelled at Jinx and me when we did?

-_Jinx walks on set too, Robin and Star still haven't stopped, though she should have pushed him aside and flown off a few minutes back…_

Jinx: Exactly! I'm _sooooo _gonna sic the Union on you, Director!"

Director: But their kissing was in the script!

Kid Flash: Well ours _should_ have been too!

Jinx: This is favoritism! Just because he's the head Titan doesn't mean he gets to do whatever he wants!

Director: -_Seriously worried the two will lynch him- _Well… We already filmed your episode…. Will you be happy with every fan-girl in the country making all sorts of … shall we say, "adult" fanfictions out of you two?

Kid Flash: ….hmmm

-_the pair look at each other-_

Kid Flash and Jinx: Deal.

Director: -phew-

Beastboy: -_ holding and tissue up to stem his sudden nose bleed and looking away from Rob and Star who are still going at it- _And I dod Jinx and Kid Flash were bad.

Cyborg: **Get a room you two!**

**Scene where the Titans are going off to find Starfire after first transmition **

**from the Gordanians: **

Raven: Trust me if you knew what I really am you wouldn't want me around.

Robin: I know enough, besides it's not like your a demon out to destroy the

universe...what a minute! What's wrong with the cue cards! Rouge!

_Mme. Rouge holds a pen and a large cue card laughing maniaclly. _

Director: Cut! Can someone get me a jumbo bottle of aleve?

(another wonderful idea from ahility)

_**Scene where Starfire is in the video store munching the candy.**_

_As she picks up a gumdrop it turns to her, bares its teeth and hisses. It's the evil candy from Fear Itself! _

Starfire: EEP! (blasts candy...and the self...not mention half the store)

Director_ -red in the face-_: ROUGE!

_Cast and crew run off with pitchforks and torches to find her, all except for Beast Boy, who holds up a bag of wiggling candies and grins. _

Beast Boy: Hee, hee, that was too easy!

(A/N: this lovely short is from ahility, everyone thank her! she is an amazing help!!)

_**Scene where all the soon to be Titans are starting to fight the Gordanians and Robin catches Starfire.**_

**-**_Robin trips and they both go flying-_

-_Suddenly, appearing out of no where in particular- _Batman: Stupid apprentice, can't even save a girl without screwing up. –_takes a swig of something in a soda bottle hidden in a brown paper bag.-_

Director: CUT!! Batman?! What the hell are you doing here? Justice League is in the other building!

Batman: Oh…right….-_starts walking away but weaves all over the place-_

Robin: Is it just me, or is Batman drunk?

Starfire: Did Wonder Woman dump him?

Robin: Batman was going out with Wonder Woman?

Starfire: Duh. How clueless are you?

Robin: Ouch… I mean, it only took me like… oh… four, five seasons to notice you liked me.

Starfire: And thus my point stands.

_**Scene where all the soon to be Titans are starting to fight the Gordanians. Take 1.**_

-_Gordanians start appearing- _

_-Suddenly-_

Hawkgirl: HYAH! –_whaps Gordanian with mace-_

Robin: What the hell?

Hawkgirl: **Hawk peoples** (_A/N: I cannot remember their name…_) **unite!!!**

-_swarm of hawk peoples fly out of no where and kick Gordanian ass-_

Robin: I did not see that coming.

Starfire: ….yeah.

_A/N: for any people who do not watch Justice League, the Hawk Peoples' greatest enemy are the Gordanians. And they are not really called 'Hawk peoples', but I seriously cannot remember the name. _

_**Scene where all the soon to be Titans are starting to fight the Gordanians. Take 2.**_

-_flying things are seen in the sky-_

Robin: Titans, G-!! Wait, those aren't Gordanians! They're flying monkeys!!

Slade: -_wearing a long black dress, witch hat, and green/black one eyed mask-_ I'll get you my pretties and your little bunny too! –_evil cackle-_

Director: Slade, you aren't in this episo- HOLY SHIT!!

-_The real Wicked Witch of the West pops out of thin air next to Slade and begins beating him up with her broom- _

Wicked Witch of the West: **How dare you steal my monkeys!! Take that! And that!**

Everyone present: O.o

-_Glinda suddenly pops out of nowhere in a burst of bubbles-_

Glinda: Elphaba, please stop beating the tar out of this poor, gender confused man.

Elphaba: Why?

Glinda: Because he is mentally unstable, and rather pathetic. You look like the Wizard beating up a Munchkin.

Elphaba: _**WHAT?!?!**_

Glinda: Now now, we need to get back to Broadway, Elphie. Come on.

Elphaba: **THIS CREEP STOLE MY MONKEYS THEN THREATENED AN INNOCENT BUNNY!! **_**I'LL SEND HIM INTO A LIVING HELL!! **_

Slade: Actually, that happened last season, I think.

Elphaba: Oh shut up. Come my monkeys, we'll have to settle for a whiny hic and a stupid little dog.

-_Both witches and the horde of monkeys vanish-_

Slade: FINE BE THAT WAY YOU MEANIES!! –_runs off crying-_

Titans: …. Right…

Director: This series must be cursed.

_A/N: Elphaba is the Wicked Witch of the West's name in the book and play __Wicked._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

Author's Notes: Thank you ahility!!!!

Okay, I think it's official. Kid Flash and Jinx are going to appear in every chapter I do. Actually, they're the only characters (besides Raven) that I can really have fun with… If only there had been more episodes with those two….-_cry-_

But anyway, I do apologize for taking so long. I got a little too preoccupied with "Trust and Betrayal". If you like Kid Flash and Jinx, I recommend it. If you have no clue who they are, then _die._ Or just watch the episode _Lightspeed _on You Tube. Your choice. But yeah… anyway, I changed my mind about the one I'll do next. Next chapter is "Deception." Isn't that the one where Cyborg goes undercover in the HIVE? Well, that's what I'm doing next. …Just because.

Review people!!

Anyway, the amount of reviews on the last chapter were rather pathetic in compared to the number I got for the first, _**SO REVIEW!! I NEED REVIEWS TO SURVIVE!! And if I die because of lack of reviews, will my stories ever get finished? NO!!! SO REVIEW, DAMNIT!!! **_

See you next chapter, my beloved readers!

(PS: I really do appreciate it when people give me ideas. My own personal genius can only go so far.)


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